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 :D Joke Thread....Post em all

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Sir.
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PostSubject: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 12:25 am


A Jewish American is watching a TV documentary in a New York bar. He's getting more and more drunk and has his head propped in his hands as he watches the TV telling all about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour. The narrator says, "On 7th December 1941, the Imperial Japanese Navy launched an unprovoked air attack on Pearl Harbour in Hawaii." The Jew tuts into his beer. "A third of the US Fleet was destroyed in the single worst attack of the Second World War." The Jew gets redder and tuts even more loudly. "Twenty-five thousand US men and women were killed that day, some of them burned horrifically!" The Jew gets so mad he wants to vent his anger.

He turns round and sees a little oriental guy on a bar stool at the end of the bar. He runs over and punches the Oriental in the face and knocks him off his stool. The Oriental says, "What d'fuck was dat for, you fucking iriot?!!"

"That was for Pearl Harbour!"

The American Jew feels proud of himself and the Oriental says, "You stoopid iriot, that was the fuckin Japanese, I'm Taiwanese!"

To which the Jew says, "Japanese, Chinese, Taiwanese, you're all slanty eyed yellow bastards!!" He sits back on his stool and starts drinking his beer.

The Taiwanese sits back on his stool and you can see his little brain working overtime. The next moment, the Taiwanese goes flying across the bar and plants a flying kick on the side of the American Jew's head, sending him crashing into the wall, "Thud!"

The Jew says, "What the fuck was that for, you slanty eyed cunt?"

"Dat was for de Titanic!"

"What the fuck are you on about? That was an iceberg!!"

"Goldberg, Weinberg, Spielberg, Iceberg - you're all thieving, big-nosed Jew cunts!!!"

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jakestevenson
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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:51 am

Three guys are at the gates of Heaven, and God tells them, "We have a special today! If you died a terrible death, you're in for free." So God asks the first guy his story.

"I was a hard working man and a loving husband, but I began to suspect that my wife was cheating on me. One day, I called in sick to work and left for home to hide and closely watch my apartment. I saw a man go in, and I decided to wait a few minutes to catch them in the act. Then, I started banging on my door. They wouldn't open it, so I broke down the door and walked in to see my wife sitting naked, but the man wasn't in sight. I went to the balcony, where I saw a naked man hanging on the edge. I began to stomp on his hands until he fell down, but there were bushes, so I got my fridge and tossed it on him. In the process of tossing the fridge, I also fell over and died."

God replies, "Wow, that's pretty bad, finding out your wife cheated and falling off your balcony. You pass."

The second guy says, "God, my only crime was that I enjoyed dancing naked in my apartment while eating pickles out of the jar. I was doing just that one day, when I slipped on a pickle and fell over my balcony. Luckily, I was able to grab on to the ledge below mine. After a few minutes, a man came and I thought he was going to rescue me, but he began to stomp on my hands. I fell, but luckily, I fell into the bushes. I thought I had survived, but that man threw a fridge at me and I died!"

God replies, "Wow, that's very cruel, being crushed to death."

The third man says, "I died naked in a fridge."

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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:01 am

^look at all these lame jokes
do not fear, i have come to rescue this thread






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jakestevenson
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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:22 am

How long have you been stocking up screenshots?

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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 1:36 pm

who needs screenshots when you have stealthbot logs
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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:51 pm

jakestevenson wrote:
How long have you been stocking up screenshots?
i am professional screenshotter, so pretty much my whole life + weekends

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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 6:58 pm


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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 7:11 pm


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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 9:23 pm

Hahaha opaca. Do you store everything? Thats kinda creepy bro Razz

America putting the Oops in Troops

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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 9:36 pm



courtesy of imgur
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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 11:13 pm


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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Tue Aug 13, 2013 11:42 pm

Why do mexicans kids have tamales for Christmas?

-Warning! Racist joke
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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Wed Aug 14, 2013 2:12 am

Racist jokes are the best, But just so you all know I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.

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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Wed Aug 14, 2013 5:52 am

That's really funny


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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Fri Aug 16, 2013 2:05 am

LOL sir. nice one. then roks reaction gif LOL

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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:42 am

opaca wrote:



coincost????
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PostSubject: Re: :D Joke Thread....Post em all   Mon Aug 19, 2013 5:15 am

waterfire has his own language

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